When’s the best time to start getting healthy?
Not Monday…Start Now!
But most of us put it off. We say, I’ll start Monday, or right after the holidays, or on the first of the month I will start. 🤔Land marks, time frames, events, seasons, the full moon, baseball season, it’s summer and we love to BBQ.
The list of excuses as to why not start NOW is long and distinguished. Mine was anyways. It’s also the painful awful self-sabotaging truth. Because those lies, those justifications were so wrapped in the pain of my disappointment in me, embarrassment and anxiety.
I love life, love to socialize and be happy. I have horrific FOMO. But my poor body was none of those. She was in so much pain. I wanted so bad to be a normal size. Not model skinny, or perfect, just normal. My weight had over shadowed everyday plans into bondage.
I remember after I dropped my son off at Cal Poly to pursue his dreams of playing D1 baseball, I was flying home. It was a time of great joy, thrilled that he was happy and I am leaving him in such a beautiful place, but I had to get on a plane, a rather small commercial plane.
What should have been consuming my mind was, “Wow, all those batting lessons, weekends at tournaments and throwing the ball with him every day after school lead him here.” He found his grit and followed his dreams. Reflection of a little boy with big vision.
But no, it was clouded with anxiety of where I was going to sit on the plane. As I shimmied through the tiny entrance of the plane, I saw that the left side of seats were single row, halleluiah! Yes!! Right on! However, it was going to take strategic planning…grabbing the first one I could, knocking the lady over with the big carry on, take no prisoners! I must have one of those seats!
Because you see, if I sat next to someone… part of me infringed a bit on their space. Horrifying. Not a way to make friends. So, with cat-like reflexes and intention, I grabbed one of those singles. Whew, dodged that bullet.
Except…… there’s always that dang seat belt! The rotten tiny plane was also home to tiny safety belts… crap, heck, son of a biscuit eater! I got nervous, tried to find a few more inches to strap across myself, thinking, “It’s a short flight, make it fit, you can breathe when you land!” Just-buckle for Pete’s sake. Yep, no go. So I lay the seat belts on my poochy tummy and draped my book on my lap. There, this will fool that normal sized flight attendant.
Ummm, no. She was pretty savvy to my shenanigans. Sweetly, she handed me a rolled-up seat belt extender. I was caught. My secret was out. I’m fat and everyone now knows. Except everyone already knew.
Every time I look back at my kids’ high school and college photos, there I am, larger than life. Well ok, that’s a little self-absorbed and dramatic, but it’s all lies in the stories we tell ourselves. The ones that serve us and the ones that are taking up so much useful important space in our brains. All the ebbing and weaving, to find where I fit in the next event. This is just one of the thousands of times a wonderful moment was overshadowed (in my mind) by my size.
But all these horrifying moments could be mended with a little treat, right? Go ahead, because, tomorrow, well look out world, I’m going on a diet………again.
This story isn’t easy to tell, as I have many more like them. But as I grow, (emotionally – and have finally figured out how to shrink physically) I have learned that being vulnerable and letting down my armor can actually be helpful, and maybe even humorous.
I love to laugh and make others laugh.
So, please giggle along with me, not at the content of the story but the healthiness that we can laugh at ourselves.
This is progress, not perfection, and every day is a mindful decision to evaluate a healthy approach.
This isn’t the right story, it’s the real story.
Here’s my before and after pics.
If you’re ready to start NOW, click here and I’ll show you how I did it.